Awakening

One of my favorite pieces of art now resides in the Inner Harbor of Baltimore. That's not where I first saw it. When I first discovered Awakening it lived in DC. I went with a guy friend of mine who I loved dearly. I was glad I was with someone who loved the piece too because it took my breath away to see it.

The statue, for those who haven't clicked, is a massive representation of a man who is arising from the earth. His who body is not yet visible and there is obvious strain on his face of the journey.

So often that is how I feel, but even more so lately. Since Integrate I've been astounded at how many waves of creative self-awareness have come. It's as though so much time considering, labeling and understanding over the last couple of years have finally born fruit into all these realizations about myself and my desires for my life.

More pointed than the rest are the discoveries I'm making about my creative self, my very prominent artistic side. And, might I say, it's exhausting.

In so many ways I feel like my creative soul finally has time to wake up, stretch her limbs and frolic but because she's been dormant so long it's taking ages for the process.

Patience has never been a virtue I have much use for but I listened to my teacher Jen Lee talk in a podcast about spaciousness and creative work. One point she made was that creative work has seasons--it's not always harvest time. I realized upon hearing those words that I've been trying to force constant harvest. It's not that time for me--it's a time of cultivation, quiet repetitive chores and preparation.

In projecting my desires for 2011, I'm putting into the Universe this idea of quiet cultivation during integration. That I stop rushing shoots, paintings and songs and let them come. Let those things awaken in their own right and honor them.

I can already hear myself telling myself that this is 'fruity' and 'hippie' and all the other labels I have for these feelings and words. But I can't deny that there is something putting forth effort to live, to awaken, and I'm going to do all I can to stand in amazement and love and allow myself to be wonder full.