I'm sitting on the couch in the waning hours of the second day of a long absence from my husband, my partner and my lover. Yes, I intended you to feel the weight of my maudlin energy with that statement.
Yesterday I went back to work for a shift, enjoyed an early morning breakfast with my blossoming girlfriends and then, I crashed.
Today I have stopped to be sad. I've been in my pajamas, on the couch, trying to see my path again. I paused to acknowledge that I'm terribly intimidated by the amount of work the coming weeks are going to bring. To really feel the sadness of leaving the budding, happy life I saw here in honor of the life and happiness I know is to come. It was a day of pause, of refocusing to understand how I can be polite to myself without dropping into days like this too often.
So, as soon as this movie ends I'm going to get up and clean this house to some happy music. I'm going to make a list for my week and start making sure I savor these final few weeks with this lovely place. Then I'm going to pack up, put the pugs in the car and reunite with the other part of my soul, glorying in our togetherness.