Finally.

We've had much discussion and uncertainty here lately. It's been nearly a full month of trying to feel out our future, of learning to talk and listen in a different, new way. It's been an interesting, trying, strengthening month and I would not do it over. But I'm glad it happened.

We thought we might move, now we're fairly certain we won't. I'm sad about that because we'd have been closer to family but I think, we think, it's the right decision.

We thought we may add some children to the household, now we're certain that we're not going to right this moment. We've found some middle ground that feels like it will be best for all involved.

In all that talking we've found a new path with a bit more certainty. Mike is unlikely to leave his current line of work until he has The Next Great and Amazing Idea. I'm unlikely to leave mine until we have so many children it becomes unlikely. Christmas plans--having the whole family here--are now certain and we're finally, finally, calming down.

I have a beautiful Mahayana friend...

...and she told me a few days ago in a phone call about the wonderful idea that every being we encounter could be a teacher or messenger. I found it lovely and filed it away as I do with thoughts I'd like to come back to when I have more time. It's an enormous file.

Today I was approaching the headstone of a friend, feeling increasingly sad, as I am wont to do there in her resting place, about her loss when I noticed a glimmer of gold that was exactly the remembered shade of her hair. And for a few long moments as I stood near her headstone in the blazing sun that dragonfly stayed near me, always in my view. It rested, preened, then landed on the flowers I brought, then on my shoulder and, after a moment of stillness, quietly flew away.

'Tis the season.

I think I've discussed that this year Michael and I took part in a share in on of our local Community Supported Agriculture operations. To say that we've been overwhelmed with produce is very much an understatement. Add to that our surpisingly successful garden this year and you'll know that I've been doing with my time.

We have a new dehydrator that never leaves the counter or stops operating, we have apricot jam and syrups of blackberries. We have squash for days and the tomatoes have even begun yet.

And tomorrow we'll have our first peach sorbetto.

So if you wonder where I am, just picture a kitchen full of chaos, stained fingers and steaming cans. I'll be back around the first frost--unless I get stuck under all the cans.

"Emerge"

After last October in Colorado, I became aware of all these fantastic instructors who lead artistic and self-discovery courses both online and in person. My new favorites, because I know the two beautiful ladies who started it, is Live It The The Full. I enrolled in their very first course called Emerge and I'm loving it. It's a course combining writing, photography and other artistic self-expression.

The prompts there lead me to pick up my camera for the first time in several months. I don't think there is a time since I've had cameras where I've gone without photographing anything for several months. There was actually dust on my bag. That has never happened.

Earlier this year I was really devoted to the idea of turning my art into income for our family. I thought it would be a fantastic way to combine the passions. It wasn't. Something about monetizing my passion, putting a numeric value on it, killed a little part of my soul. It took some time to recover from that injury but I'm happy to say that I have.

Yesterday the familiar weight of the camera in my hand felt like it used to--a natural extension of my arm. I got a few good shots and even posted them on Flickr but I think my favorites from the day are these two. Hope you enjoy them as well!